A Collection of Memories

Ever since we’ve arrived in the States (almost a month now) I still haven’t had a proper chance to feel like I’m my mother’s daughter again.Going in and out through parks, seeing oceans, walking past pastures and vineyards are all so much a part of the Southern California experience, but coming home is always so much more meaningful. Trying to build a connection with a lost friend can be memorable. Trying however to relive a maternal connection especially when it’s been affected by Alzheimer’s type dementia is painful and difficult.

In case you didn’t yet make the connection, my mother has Alzheimer’s type dementia. She’s had it since 1997. But I wouldn’t stop ever calling her mom.

I take after my mother; I’m a worrier. As a kid I would prowl the halls waiting for her. If she said “I’ll be home at 10:00 pm" and she wasn’t, I’d go out waiting for her. Tonight, I pushed the panic button when I looked at the dark sky and wondered where are my two boys. I hunted them down alongside the piers right outside my mother's home alongside the Hudson River. I immediately thought of that little girl and I wanted to find a connection. With Alzheimer’s however, there’s always an issue of hit or miss.

I knew my mom would identify with ‘worry scenes’ such as these. It actually made perfect sense to use it as a starting board for conversation.

I’m almost sure it was my voice that did it. Instantly, her face turned towards me. Her jaw dropped slightly, she tried to make eye contact. Her expression softened. She was my mom again just for a few bitter-sweet moments.

I went on to recount to her the story of the last forty minutes of hunting my boys down.There was nothing more comforting than hearing, “yes, that’s too much” or, “ yes, I know what you mean.” Perfect.

Anybody who has an Alzheimer’s type dementia parent, knows the feeling of closeness this scenario can bring to a grieving daughter or son’s heart.

These few years are the collective years of her and my life together. They make the last scrapbook of what stands out as a maternal connection. From one mom to another, this is the best collection that survives all scratch-and-sniff sticker albums I’ve ever had.


After a bit of thought, I decided to send this post to Michele's blog for the Write-Away content. This month's theme is about collections.