Thirteen Things that Happened at 3:00 in the Morning
One would think that calming my three year old son with his nightmarish fits at 3:00 o'clock would purport me to sleep. But that wasn't the case. now, I'm wide awake as if I'm ready to tackle the day.
1. I calmed Ivry down and he finally fell asleep on our bed
2. I went to the bathroom and tried to fall asleep
3. I tossed and truned and focused on the air-conditioning sound at the apartment above me
4. I hugged my son and saw he had fallen asleep
5. My brain started thinking
6. My stomach started hurting
7. I went to the bathroom again
8. I began to feel homesick for my four walled kibbutz apartment
9. I thought about my progress with my writing endeavors including that of my book, our impending visit to NYC to see my mom, and unfinished Passover tasks
10. I hugged my pillow
11. I hugged my son
12. I tried meditating
13. I came to the computer... and here I am!
I like to have a full 7 -8 hours sleep. Wonder what happened today? There's a lot of stress I'm feeling lately - that I know for sure. Stress with revising the book, finding enough freelance writing gigs if I make that decision to branch over to freelance writing and finding a day job. But then there are the triggers to all that stress.
Deep inside, I know where the anxiety is also coming from: I think I'd be better off knowing I've released the feelings of doubts and uncertainty. Is this just me? Is anybody else feeling this way at times.... Any thoughts?
Happy TT
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2 comments:
You are not alone. Everybody, and I mean everybody, is holding their breath and wringing their hands until we get through this election cycle. The outcome will not have as much effect as just moving forward anywhere.
That is not to minimize your personal upheaval at all, but adding the collective sense of dread and uncertainty of everyone around to your own makes for a rather heavy load. Don't try to manage this as a lone ranger.
It's tough to get back to sleep after a child has a nightmare. I've had many a sleepless night for similar reasons. Happy TT.
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