After months of research and writing, there is a faint glimmer of light at the end of the tunnel.
Yesterday, my prospective editor emailed me about my book proposal I sent exactly a month ago.
He wants to discuss it further over the phone. This is the confirmation I was looking for and legitimizes all that hard hard work.
Sometimes that glimmer is hard to see and sometimes, we don't even believe there's reason to dream.
Well, I am here to tell you that they can happen. Not like tomorrow I'm going to be a published author anyhow...:)
Later y'all!
Friday, March 28, 2008
Saturday, March 1, 2008
Look What The Post Brought Today...
So much of what I have done with my life and decisions has been thought out, planned, reviewed, and sometimes even misunderstood. I tend to think I'm a real pro at moving cross-Atlantic, spacing out my life through not one, but seven time zones.
Like most people or at least the people I know, make decision based on a heart-felt conscience: I know, I feel, I do - only I think I know the 'feel' part. I mark the territory when I know I am certain. But underneath this certainty, there's an old friend, waiting to be held, told stories to, play Trivia and Scrabble. It's as Anne Lamott said tonight at her lecture: "it's the mothers of all our quilts" that have touched us.
I was touched today too, by Anne or "Annie" as they called her by her community of wordship. It didn't lead to a pronounced list of what I did wrong on the bus ride back home to where I have taken incredible leaps and bounds of faith just by leaving a kibbutz, a warm comfortable pastoral, domestic niche that cannot be explained or transmitted through a blog; But just to come here to Pittsburgh, to relive a dream that suddenly breaks me free of one area of certainty into a entire pool of vulnerability makes me feel incredibly naked. And when I feel naked, I feel a need also to swim.
It's that 'slow, slow, quick, quick' steps of 'foxtrotting' that she and her boyfriend learned but aren't afraid to learn. It's my will as a writer to find the words that might give me great strength and also in my faith, but the road might scare me. It's the act of trying that might spill my faith from the world, I have known and grown so well.
You all know I'm sure what faith does when you think you will abandon it, to find that you weren't certain, that you made the greatest mistake.
I walked over icy paths and snow melts tonight to find that my faith wasn't real a leap at all: it's just what I need to do. I'm right back at where I started with the words, the need to feel humble and alive again, the need to write on tiny pieces of notes and stick them in a box as Annie Lamott says: "a God's box".
But in essence, I can't do that without a little bit of faith. I realize that I can't do anything anymore without a bit of help. I know I have 'bird by bird' beside me.
Like most people or at least the people I know, make decision based on a heart-felt conscience: I know, I feel, I do - only I think I know the 'feel' part. I mark the territory when I know I am certain. But underneath this certainty, there's an old friend, waiting to be held, told stories to, play Trivia and Scrabble. It's as Anne Lamott said tonight at her lecture: "it's the mothers of all our quilts" that have touched us.
I was touched today too, by Anne or "Annie" as they called her by her community of wordship. It didn't lead to a pronounced list of what I did wrong on the bus ride back home to where I have taken incredible leaps and bounds of faith just by leaving a kibbutz, a warm comfortable pastoral, domestic niche that cannot be explained or transmitted through a blog; But just to come here to Pittsburgh, to relive a dream that suddenly breaks me free of one area of certainty into a entire pool of vulnerability makes me feel incredibly naked. And when I feel naked, I feel a need also to swim.
It's that 'slow, slow, quick, quick' steps of 'foxtrotting' that she and her boyfriend learned but aren't afraid to learn. It's my will as a writer to find the words that might give me great strength and also in my faith, but the road might scare me. It's the act of trying that might spill my faith from the world, I have known and grown so well.
You all know I'm sure what faith does when you think you will abandon it, to find that you weren't certain, that you made the greatest mistake.
I walked over icy paths and snow melts tonight to find that my faith wasn't real a leap at all: it's just what I need to do. I'm right back at where I started with the words, the need to feel humble and alive again, the need to write on tiny pieces of notes and stick them in a box as Annie Lamott says: "a God's box".
But in essence, I can't do that without a little bit of faith. I realize that I can't do anything anymore without a bit of help. I know I have 'bird by bird' beside me.
Friday, February 29, 2008
I sent it, I sent it, I sent it, I sent it!!!!!!!!!!!!
I sent my first book proposal just a few minutes ago to the educational publisher I've been eyeing for months now.
Now I can legit all those long hard nights writing about a subject true and dear to my heart "Teaching at-Risk ELLs"
Now the waiting time.
Actually, he said he would return to me within a week. Is that quick , or what?
Ugh. I think now I'm going to be sick.
Now I can legit all those long hard nights writing about a subject true and dear to my heart "Teaching at-Risk ELLs"
Now the waiting time.
Actually, he said he would return to me within a week. Is that quick , or what?
Ugh. I think now I'm going to be sick.
Thursday, February 28, 2008
Thursday Thirteen - Things That Keep Me Going
Okay, okay - I'm way way behind on posting this and didn't think I would post, if at all today. But there is a need to be social...
1. Anne Lammot is coming to Pittsburgh! On Saturday! I need somebody to help me learn how to speak the faith language. Is it - 1800-faith-ful?
2. My Book . Shh, don't talk about it too much but, I think I am going to be able to email my editor the book proposal and the two samples chapters... dare I say, tomorrow!!, which is the culprit reason for slaving these past six months, hiding behind stacks in the research library, forgetting I'm a mom, working into the night taking it 'bird by bird'. I will ring out the the red carpet once I know it's been emailed, but for now I am praying these two editors will return my queries. *but I'm still checking my email at least three times an hour - god help me*
3. The need to be more patient. It comes with no surprise that I am not a patient person. So I am learning.
4. The weekend, or what's really left of it. Sometimes there is one, right now I feel there isn't.
5. Time to catch up with friends/brother (San Diego) on the weekend. I have an old childhood friend who I adore. She lives in new Mexico. We're to speak this weekend.
6. Time to write Children's fiction. I have a chapter book in progress.
7. Just plain Internet surfing and blogging, without being distracted all the time.
8. Peace and Quiet.
9. Looking forward to a new day and all its possibilities (i.e. looking for freelance work, networking, reading and writing something new)
10. The priceless feeling of living in gratefulness. I try to keep Shabbat cozy and low-key, but I become selfish again very soon, and want to go back to my writing. Oh, what can I do? I told you I was nerdy.
11. A sunny sunny day. What I would do for a sunny day in Pittsburgh - for ten days it's been cloudy, rainy, snowy, hazy, flurry,... everything but bloody sunny. I miss my Israeli climate. Yikes!
12. A trip to the Internet cafe... Here, get the irony of this... there are three just a few blocks away but I cannot seem to focus there.. too much incessant talking in invariably half a dozen languages... so it's just another escape route. I rarely get stuff done.
13. Quality time with my son. Hopefully, he'll know he's the icing on my cake even with all the doubt and uncertainty and fear that are popping up all the time in my life.
14. (Bonus) - my writing group! *waving hands* They rock!
Happy Thirteen - y'all!
1. Anne Lammot is coming to Pittsburgh! On Saturday! I need somebody to help me learn how to speak the faith language. Is it - 1800-faith-ful?
2. My Book . Shh, don't talk about it too much but, I think I am going to be able to email my editor the book proposal and the two samples chapters... dare I say, tomorrow!!, which is the culprit reason for slaving these past six months, hiding behind stacks in the research library, forgetting I'm a mom, working into the night taking it 'bird by bird'. I will ring out the the red carpet once I know it's been emailed, but for now I am praying these two editors will return my queries. *but I'm still checking my email at least three times an hour - god help me*
3. The need to be more patient. It comes with no surprise that I am not a patient person. So I am learning.
4. The weekend, or what's really left of it. Sometimes there is one, right now I feel there isn't.
5. Time to catch up with friends/brother (San Diego) on the weekend. I have an old childhood friend who I adore. She lives in new Mexico. We're to speak this weekend.
6. Time to write Children's fiction. I have a chapter book in progress.
7. Just plain Internet surfing and blogging, without being distracted all the time.
8. Peace and Quiet.
9. Looking forward to a new day and all its possibilities (i.e. looking for freelance work, networking, reading and writing something new)
10. The priceless feeling of living in gratefulness. I try to keep Shabbat cozy and low-key, but I become selfish again very soon, and want to go back to my writing. Oh, what can I do? I told you I was nerdy.
11. A sunny sunny day. What I would do for a sunny day in Pittsburgh - for ten days it's been cloudy, rainy, snowy, hazy, flurry,... everything but bloody sunny. I miss my Israeli climate. Yikes!
12. A trip to the Internet cafe... Here, get the irony of this... there are three just a few blocks away but I cannot seem to focus there.. too much incessant talking in invariably half a dozen languages... so it's just another escape route. I rarely get stuff done.
13. Quality time with my son. Hopefully, he'll know he's the icing on my cake even with all the doubt and uncertainty and fear that are popping up all the time in my life.
14. (Bonus) - my writing group! *waving hands* They rock!
Happy Thirteen - y'all!
Wednesday, February 27, 2008
God Gave Me
God gave me words
to speak out against my injustice
like child abuse
God gave me determination
so I could white out fears easily
as I create them
on paper they shine
but god gave me
also
the ability to love
when my son cries: "Daddy" for two hours
straight on and
there's my mom but
she's not around
so I think like
God and what he
can still give me
I mean all the years as a child are
long gone, no?
So I think God could still give me
love, the everlasting, I think
the unconditional brand
the only one around
which God really meant for me.
-written by Dorit Sasson
February 27.2008
to speak out against my injustice
like child abuse
God gave me determination
so I could white out fears easily
as I create them
on paper they shine
but god gave me
also
the ability to love
when my son cries: "Daddy" for two hours
straight on and
there's my mom but
she's not around
so I think like
God and what he
can still give me
I mean all the years as a child are
long gone, no?
So I think God could still give me
love, the everlasting, I think
the unconditional brand
the only one around
which God really meant for me.
-written by Dorit Sasson
February 27.2008
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
Tag
Slyvia from Slyvia's Insights just tagged me. So here are my 7 random facts about me. I think I'm as nerdiest as they get, but I am interesting!
1. I lived on a kibbutz for 17 years in Israel, but grew up in Greenwich Village Manhattan until age 18.
2. I am writing a book on early literacy and ESL as part of my sabbatical this year.
3. I have an obsession with looking at peoples' feet, especially my husband's. [Shh, don't tell, but his toes look like petals!]
4. It took me a long while to commit to this neme and to this blog.
5. I can get easily depressed by cold and wintry weather and need a lot of love and tlc.
6. I love warm sparkling bubble baths and hate scary movies.
7. I can get compulsive about keeping my papers in orders. Watch out!
Phew.. that was fun.
Now I'm tagging:
Barrie of Barrie Summy
Katherine Swan of Swan's Blog
Daisy of Compost Happens
Kim of Livin in Happy Town
Susan from West of Mars
Chelle from Crazy Thoughts
Liz Garrett from Little Wool Gatherings
Here are the rules...
1. Link to your tagger and post these rules on your blog.
2. Share 7 facts about yourself on your blog, some random, some weird.
3. Tag 7 people at the end of your post by leaving their names as well as links to their blogs.
4. Let them know they are tagged by leaving a comment on their blog.
Yay, me for doing this! Getting there!
1. I lived on a kibbutz for 17 years in Israel, but grew up in Greenwich Village Manhattan until age 18.
2. I am writing a book on early literacy and ESL as part of my sabbatical this year.
3. I have an obsession with looking at peoples' feet, especially my husband's. [Shh, don't tell, but his toes look like petals!]
4. It took me a long while to commit to this neme and to this blog.
5. I can get easily depressed by cold and wintry weather and need a lot of love and tlc.
6. I love warm sparkling bubble baths and hate scary movies.
7. I can get compulsive about keeping my papers in orders. Watch out!
Phew.. that was fun.
Now I'm tagging:
Barrie of Barrie Summy
Katherine Swan of Swan's Blog
Daisy of Compost Happens
Kim of Livin in Happy Town
Susan from West of Mars
Chelle from Crazy Thoughts
Liz Garrett from Little Wool Gatherings
Here are the rules...
1. Link to your tagger and post these rules on your blog.
2. Share 7 facts about yourself on your blog, some random, some weird.
3. Tag 7 people at the end of your post by leaving their names as well as links to their blogs.
4. Let them know they are tagged by leaving a comment on their blog.
Yay, me for doing this! Getting there!
Monday, February 18, 2008
I think, I Feel... I Know
In one of my last posts, I wrote about soup memories inspired directly by the tantalizing cooking of Hinda Czernick, z"l.
Well apparently I was not the only one who remembers Grandma's cooking. Last night, I went to a Soup for the Soul women's event perfectly organized by a young writer/mother named Chani. It was at her house that I heard miracle stories of a mother who donated parts of her liver to save her three year old daughter with a tumor, partisans who, during the Nazi regime took grandparents of a Jewish family in and by chance both them and the Toral scrolls survived and the speaker eventually met up with both the scroll and former family members. The list goes on.
Chani impeccably had the living and dining room adorned with ruby lamp candles, rose petal candles everywhere, smells of vanilla and jasmin rose hip teas and a wide delectable scent of teas and flowers...and finally, there were glass canisterns of lima beans, peas, ABC's pasta, dried beef and vegetable soup powder, mushrooms, etc which we put in decorated glass jars to either prepare at home, or to give away as gifts. What a lovely idea!
When you get back in the form of food or stories, it inspires you to give. So I did just that by preparing one of those soups (it came out great) and brought it down to the lady downstairs. She was overjoyed. It takes just a small act of random kindness to bring a smile of warmth to a person. Just a few minutes will do.
For weeks, my soul has been worn out with writing, researching, reorganizing, searching for jobs, ... mommy writers are nurturers of the soul indeed.
Why just today I came across an old black binder full of teacher notes and saw handwritten citations of Thomas Moore's Cares of the Soul. I remember how it captured me before mommy days, and I wonder how it would feel to reconnect with his words again.
Chani lovingly prepared for each and every one of us a book of soup recipes and texts of our Grandmothers. Mine was there. One may consider that they all represent in their own way, ecriture feminine or, 'women's writing. I tend to think of it as universality - since women's writing is part of the universality of soul.
And now for a new subject altogether: Ivry and I went to the Carnegie Science Center on Saturday. It was a lovely day. The train exhibit was amazing. I have never seen anything like it. Here are some pictures of the little guy.
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